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This is to certify that
hereby applies to become a Friend of LAPHROAIG and, accordingly,
a lifetime leaseholder of an unregistered plot recorded at
LAPHROAIG DISTILLERY.
As a condition of this award, we agree to pay a yearly ground rent in the
sum of one dram of Laphroaig, to be claimed in person at the distillery. You'll understand
we're not offering heritable ownership or any right to cut peat, farm sheep or extract minerals
from the plot - far better to take up your right to a warming measure of Laphroaig.
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Upon the Leaseholder's arrival at Laphroaig we undertake to provide
a map, with adequate directions for locating the PLOT, and suitable
protective clothing against Islay's rugged weather and eccentric wildlife.
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| The LEASEHOLDERS' Cupboard will contain at all times
essential equipment, including: For ascertaining the boundaries of the plot, one tape measure;
a pair of wellingtons, size 12, approximately one foot in length. |
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For the journey to the plot, protective headgear against low-flying
GEESE; a thick overcoat to repel the inclement Scottish mist; a lifebelt
and anchor to safeguard against being blown out to sea; one ball of string for securing trouser
legs from inquisitive stoats; and a towel for the Leaseholder to dry-off in the event of
unwelcome attention from affectionate otters.
No moment is more special than savouring our rugged single malt at its source to the sound of
the sea. To do so is to understand why Laphroaig is the most rewarding and individual of all
malt whiskies.
Please fill in your complete address below, and then send this to
Laphroaig, Port Ellen, Isle of Islay, Argyll PA42 7DU, Great Britain
enclosing a tin foil closure from a bottle of Laphroaig.
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